Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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