I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
