see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
