She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
