hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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