the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
