i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
