I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
