did you get engaged???
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
