Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
