i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
