with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
