i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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