im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
