I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
