Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
