Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
