DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
