I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
