i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my phone needs a breathalizer
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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