honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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