I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
