I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
