I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
