Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
