You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
