I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
