I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
