Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
