Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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