I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
