Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
