You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
