Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
