Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
