Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
