I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
