i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish i was in the wii world.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
