wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
