walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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