the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Actions speak louder than pants.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
