Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
