I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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