it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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