and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
