My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
