Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
