Me too!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
