Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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