is this the sara with the beer cane?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
