We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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